My toxic trait used to be giving people a multitude of chances they didn’t deserve AND always giving them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes each of these is needed. Sometimes it’s just giving people excuses for their bad behavior. You get to decide who takes up space in your heart.
While painting I’ve learned to step back, gain perspective so that I could learn when a chance was needed and when a boundary should be set. I don't need more people in my inner world who aren’t open to seeing and hearing what feels right for me. If people don’t respect me and my family, if they are rude or mean or manipulative I do not need to maintain a relationship with them.
Boundaries are something that I used to find very hard, but totally necessary. When developing self trust and a deep, loving relationship to myself and my world I need to know that my boundaries will be respected. It’s hard to let a person go or realize they just might not really be your friend. If the relationship or person makes you feel used, insignificant, manipulated, exhausted, uncomfortable, afraid or unsafe, seriously evaluate if this is right for you. It’s ok to say no. You are allowed to uphold your boundaries unapologetically. You don’t owe people an explanation.
Have you had to let any relationships go or put your foot down about them? How does it feel in your body when you have to uphold your boundaries multiple times in the same situation?
Let’s start a conversation about why boundaries are so hard, how it feels when you have to continually reiterate boundaries and when it’s time to “step-away-from-the-toxic” we never want to admit it, but sometimes we ARE the drama because we keep allowing “one more chance”.
I love this as a Valentine’s Day topic…
X
Jules